COMPUTER STORY

By Albert G. Edwards

Remember when computers were young? Must be all of twenty five years ago now. I remember the population was roughly divided into three groups. Those that loved them—the computer salesmen. Those that hated them—those that were about to lose their jobs. And the rest of us—who just had to learn to live with them.

There were many reported errors, and I think it would be fair to say that bank, gas, electricity and other bills had never been more thoroughly checked. Of course all errors were put down to operator mistakes, but it soon became clear that these new-fangled machines were more than a little bit temperamental. They didn't like being switched off. Temperature controlled rooms became a must; paper clips, telephones and other magnetic devices sent the early computers crazy.

It was about this time that I read about the unfortunate experiences of an American named Charles Arnold. Arnold, through a series of computer errors, was charged with murder. The chapter of errors was unbelievable, and Charles could not get any satisfaction from the start of his problems. I was intrigued to find out how this happened and began to follow up his story.                                                                                              
    It began with a demand from his local council for the payment of his dog licence. There was something wrong, he hadn't owned a dog for twelve years. No worries; a trip to City Hall would soon sort things out. But it didn't. The bureaucrats just wouldn't listen. The computer said he had a dog, and no amount of argument would convince them otherwise. Next came, "Pay up or else notices" from the Electricity, Gas and Water Companies. More arguments with authorities—all without success. The computers must be right. The machines were not finished yet. They went into overdrive, or rather, overdraft. $40,000 worth, or so the bank said.

Then, a more sinister turn, fraud, and a visit from the police. His solicitor was as perplexed as Charles, but they could get nowhere. Next came a letter from the hospital for the amputation of his right leg. It didn't matter how much he tried; he just couldn't convince the bureaucrats that he had two legs. The computer said he only had one.  

        Then came the last straw, another visit from the police. This time it was murder one. How was he to convince twelve good citizens that he was innocent?                                                                                                                                                                                                                         
        On the day of his trial, Charles stood at the bottom of the courtroom steps talking to his lawyer. He glanced up and noticed a pretty girl talking to a police officer. He turned to his lawyer and asked, "Do you know who that girl is?"

"Which one?"

"The one talking to the police officer," answered Charles.

"Oh, she's the chief witness for the prosecution," replied the lawyer.

          Charles hesitated for a second, then ran up the steps towards the girl. Yes, he wasn't mistaken—it was Rose, an ex-girlfriend.

Still panting, Charles gasped out, "You responsible for all this computer rubbish?"

She turned and smiled at him. "Yes Charles." She laughed, "I know a lot about computers these days and I'm afraid you're going to fry." Rose smiled again as she said the word 'fry'. Then she turned on her heel towards the court room entrance. "See you in court." She waved, still grinning as she moved away.

Charles spun round and grabbed the revolver from the holster of the startled police officer. He let off three shots in quick succession. Rose lay in a pool of blood on the court room steps.

          As the police officer grabbed him, Charles did not resist. His face was a blank as he muttered, "Oh! Well the computer was right this time."

          Charles didn't fry. Evidence on the software discs found in Rose's handbag proved he was not guilty. However, he did get ten years for killing Rose. He spent his time in jail learning all he could about computers. He also introduced a new crime into our society. It is called 'hacking' and needless to say Charles is now a very rich man.